I keep starting blog entries and then dumping them. But I feel a bit like exploding, so maybe it's time to finish one.
I have my reverse story that I'm working on. I'm not sure I like it. But that could just be because it is such a difficult thing to write.
Of course I might be feeling overwhelmed because of having a house full of sick children. That doesn't help things.
But I want the story to be good, and I'm not sure I can do that before the deadline. Things just keep making themselves more complicated. And I'm still new and inexperienced and have no clue what I'm doing.
OK, that can be the end of that freak out. If it isn't finished on time, so be it. I can still finish it someday.
Next: I’ve never really felt sexually attracted to people the way that it seems many others do. People admire lips and muscles and hair and lots of things and my brain doesn't work that way. But it seems like it should be put into my story, because just because I don't think that way, it doesn't mean the characters wouldn't. So I try, but it feels like doing grammar in a foreign language. You memorize the rules and try to apply them, but it doesn't inherently “sound right”. You can't rely on how it sounds to know if it's correct. I feel the same way about writing about attraction. I've read a lot of stuff other people have written, so I have an idea of what it must be like. But I can't really check it based on my own internal “that sounds right” editor.
Hmm, I guess I need a beta to tell me how stupid/realistic attraction is in my story. It just feels a bit like writing about a sense I don't actually have.
Maybe there's a reason my plan was always to write kids’ books only. And the farther away from kids’ books I get, the harder it is. Like writing in a foreign language. I think that's why Elf-Boy came out easily enough. Totally a kids’ book
This reverse story: totally not a kids book.
But I really like reading adult, dark fanfic. But my brain has a hard time producing it.
Oh well. Time to keep trying!
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